This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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