i think my tv is drunk
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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