i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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