so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
