No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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