Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
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I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
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Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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