Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
