went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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