I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
