I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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