I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
