yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
