what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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