I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
