Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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