i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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