I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
