eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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