I hope mine doesn't look like that
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
