well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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