you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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