been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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