He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
