she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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