ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
