you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
