but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
