Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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