I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
