Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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