Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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