well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you never un-have a 4some
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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