ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
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some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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