Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i drank out of a bidet.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize