Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
