He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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