How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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