the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
