i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
