dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
