Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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