You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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