some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
