I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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