I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
