No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
