To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
