Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I would ride that face into the sunset
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
