HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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