absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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