Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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