id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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