I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
