your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
