Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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