I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
