i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
