Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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