so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
