There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
