nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
