Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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