dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
