so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
