i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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