but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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