The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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